![]() While you still may be right, you are gathering more information.ĥ. Take the opportunity to check your sources and confirm what you know. Rather than insisting that you are right and the other party is wrong, leave a little room for doubt. This will usually surprise people-in a good way-and make them more open to resolving the conflict.Ĥ. Are you part of the problem? Take ownership of your mistakes and apologize for them. It will be difficult, but you need to practice your active listening skills and listen to understand.ģ. ![]() Once the anger sets in, we tend to stop listening to understand and we start listening to argue back. Chances are if you can remain calm, those around you will calm down as well.Ģ. To keep the conflict from escalating, take a mental step back and remain calm. One big thing that can intensify conflict is anger. Ten Techniques for Resolving Conflict: Regardless of gender, these techniques will help you when you find yourself in a conflict with a colleague:ġ. What Can We Do About It? A Gender Intelligence Worksheet: The next time you’re in a conflict situation, take a few moments to review and apply each of these 6 ways to reach a positive resolution. The key is having ‘zero commitment’ to triangulation. ![]() She believes that rather than involving other people, it’s better to go directly to the individual you are having a conflict with to resolve it. Barbara explains why ‘triangulated behavior’ only complicates things, but it’s a pattern people fall into. Using Triangulation Barbara’s described the theory of ‘triangulation’ where people in the workplace choose to complain to others rather than taking on conflict in a direct way with an individual. On the other hand, Outcome Frame is really about asking ‘what’s ’the win-win here?’ How can we get to understanding? She says blame is really about creating a win-lose. While men tend to get stuck in being angry and women often get stuck in rejection, Barbara believes we are ineffective in communicators when we are in either state.īlame-Frame and Outcome-Frame These are the two frames of reference that Barbara refers to in her books and workshops. Her advice is not to get stuck in Shock, Anger or Rejections, but to commit to a period of ‘short-term’ suffering where you truly ‘feel’ those moments, but have a genuine intention to get to Acceptance. What is S.A.R.A.? Shock, Anger, Rejection, Acceptance Barbara describes SARA as the path that men and women take as they go through situations of conflict. They will often make a decision to either resolve it or move on, which as Barbara explains, links to the fight or flight response. Women tend to internalize conflicts and ruminate about it. She says the sexes really do react to conflict differently. Barbara Annis begins the program by sharing some of the fundamental differences between men and women when it comes to conflict.
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